Oh my god! Those were six unforgettable days! I was at a seminar for personal development in beautiful Austria. It was about getting to know yourself better and understanding what the next steps in life are to become the person you want to be and live all your dreams and visions. It sounds so easy, but I can tell you there are tears, pain, but also a lot of joy, love and energy involved in this struggle. After the past few days I am just overwhelmed, moved and feel 'kneaded through'. Yes really, that is just the feeling I have. I feel kneaded through, i.e. soft and floppy and at the same time incredibly free and released. Like after running a marathon, when the muscles are tired but the mind is awake and the body is alive!
I can't really put into words what the last few days have done for me. I don't even think I can really grasp it yet and I'm looking forward to all the positive "late effects". One thing I have definitely already understood: I don't always have to manage and do everything alone, but there are people who like to be by my side and who like to support me. Helping can also be enriching, at least that's how I usually feel. I confess that I often tend to be a lone warrior and think I have to do everything on my own. Also with regard to the topic of partnership, we probably underestimate how much energy can be released when we have a partner at our side with whom we can support and push each other. I know many people who unfortunately settle for unfulfilled partnerships for far too long or forever, or successfully prevent a new fulfilled one. And perhaps certain dreams can only become reality when this missing piece of the puzzle is completed. Leaving out pieces of the puzzle leads to an incomplete (life) picture and we will never be able to complete it. I have also often experienced that something only progresses when I have done my "homework", so to speak, and tackle the topic that is currently on the agenda and not what I think I have to work on at the moment. I think most people know this too well, always wanting to be strong, not showing any weakness or vulnerability and not wanting to be a burden to others. It wasn't easy for me to open up to the last detail and to say everything freely, although I thought I was already relatively far along. I realise that my internally constructed world is not quite right yet and that I am now allowed to adapt it little by little. I am replacing one piece of the puzzle after the other until the whole picture is coherent again. Total demolition is also possible, but it mainly creates stress and costs a lot of energy. I have lived the "revolution" rather than the gradual "evolution" several times in my life, which means I know what I am talking about and can only recommend it to a limited extent. Unless you enjoy drawing on the blank canvas and like radicality and speed :-).
And I have to tell you another story that was instructive for me: Today I really had to smile when I thought about standing outside the door the first few evenings after the seminar, in the middle of the horde of people, and just being completely through. I take in so much and connect so closely with people that at some point my battery is empty and I don't feel myself anymore. Then I feel like a ghost and have the little "problem" that I am no longer able to make the smallest decisions or communicate sensibly with others. I have learned two things from this situation:
1) Eat something! With hypoglycaemia, no decisions are possible - not even: "Am I going straight to the car or not?"
2) Just don't make any more plans or allow yourself to flexibly adjust your plans again - and that's totally ok.
That was the crux of it, that I had a pretty cool plan and then found out that my heart wanted something else and my plan also had a few flaws. But until I understood that, a lot of time passed - overload. I then decided on the second option in combination with the first, i.e. eat something first and then just do what I really feel like doing - cool plan or not. A good choice! As soon as I just gave myself over to what my heart told me and put my mind aside, everything was back in the flow. And for me, that is one of the most beautiful feelings I know! A feeling of connection with myself, the world and my life. Everything is in flow and fits together harmoniously, without any resistance. The possibilities arise as if by themselves and I feel pure joy of life. This experience reminds me to switch off my head more often in everyday life, to feel inside myself and simply do what feels right at the moment. I can do this wonderfully on holidays or days off, but in everyday life I am often duty-driven and "sensible", whatever that means. The reward for my dedication to life were wonderful experiences like watching mountain fires in the meadow with a view of the starry sky, spending the evening at the lake with deep conversations or jumping into the f******-cold and wonderfully clear stream at noon. A highlight for me was also storming the stage and dancing in front of 300 wonderful people. My heart sank and I felt in absolute harmony with myself and the world. And the greatest thing is when you can share these moments. Everything just fit!
I think sometimes we make life much harder for ourselves than it actually is if we would only listen to our heart. Actually, the heart tells us everything we need and should do. It's just that we often lose contact with our inner voice and then rush after our great plans and what feel like insanely important tasks. After the six-day "brainwashing" I feel much clearer and have the feeling that it's actually quite simple: I just do what I want and what feels good and right for me and my mind (or the minds of others) don't always have to be able to grasp it. Yes, I know, easier said than done. But honestly, what's stopping us from living our dream life and experiencing all that we want professionally and personally, with our dream partner by our side? I think our fears and our own limitations, not allowing ourselves to think big and demand from life what we are worth. We live a "degraded" version of ourselves and then tell ourselves that yes, we are lucky. We justify our self-deception, so to speak, in order not to feel worse. Truth can hurt. Gratitude is certainly one of the most valuable feelings we can have for a fulfilled life. The feeling of "contentment", on the other hand, can paralyse us, make us comfortable and thus prevent us from developing further, from expanding our comfort zone and from breaking our own boundaries. Or we doubt, try to solve the situation with our head, want to force something or cannot admit a "no" because it is not a clear "yes". We hold on to something that is not meant for us and keeps us in the past. We don't believe in ourselves, we wait things out and wait for a miracle instead of simply tackling all our wishes and dreams one by one and reaching for the stars. What we can imagine, we can also achieve. I am convinced of that! So go ahead, believe in yourself and go for it!
And how do I do that now? I don't claim to have understood the game of life. From my point of view, besides the ingredients of gratitude and self-love, it takes going to our strengths and needs. If we live these, we come into our absolute power and everything falls into place. The universe simply loves authenticity. It's actually quite simple: we find out what our strengths and needs are, match them with our life and gradually adjust everything until everything is in harmony again. For me, that is pure beauty, when everything is in flow and in balance! At this point I would like to encourage you not to wait for things to get better or different overnight and for a miracle to happen, but to admit to yourself what you really want and actively go for it. That is what I wish for the people on our planet. Because when we are all in our power, then we are happy and many happy people create an open, loving, warm, helpful and tolerant community, which then also deals responsibly with our great world. And what wonderful things that would mean for our world and our lives ... .
All love, Katharina