“Never enough” as motivation for success

Last week was movie night for me. I was just too tired to do anything else. The days are getting longer and darker as winter approaches. But this was exactly the right thing to do again. I watched three different documentaries about very famous people and was surprised at what all three had in common. That's what I want to write about today.

First, I watched the documentary about David Beckham. You can see how he has trained a lot in football since he was little, supported by his father, and has become better and better. Even as a child, he was constantly winning and was then discovered by a manager at some point. That's how his career took off. Later, after an ill-considered reaction in the World Cup match, things went downhill for him psychologically, as it was not easy to digest this. Suddenly it felt like the whole of England was against him. And apparently he still hasn't digested it to this day. After the big low, things went uphill again and his career peaked with Madrid, before coming to an end shortly afterwards.

The second documentary was about Robbie Williams and his career as a singer. He started out at 16 in England with Take That, a boy band with four other boys. After a falling out, he then started his solo career and after a while had more and more success. His entire life was accompanied by drug and alcohol problems and, of course, psychological problems. The English press had it in for him, which took its toll on him. His last European tour with his own “spaceship”, as he called his stage, was the high point of his career. Today he is performing with Take That again.

And then there is the third documentary, about Taylor Swift. Also a singer, this time from America, who has since broken all records. She started out as a country singer as a child, worked her way up and now makes pop music. She also had a low point in her career when the press turned against her and then took a year off. After that she continued and became incredibly successful - more successful than ever before. Now, at the end, she has emancipated herself to such an extent that she stands up for women's rights and uses her reach of around 200 million followers to fight for justice.

I found all three documentaries incredibly exciting. You can learn so much from the stories of others. And there are also some interesting parallels between the three stories, which at first seem very different. All three stories have one thing in common and that was a bit frightening for me at first: all three people always thought they weren't enough, that they didn't deserve their success, that they had to prove themselves and keep getting better. David Beckham was probably always pushed very hard by his father as a young boy and had to repeat things until he was better. Robbie spent his whole life competing with his ex-bandleader and wanted to prove to him that he was better than him. And Taylor Swift herself says in the movie that she associated happiness with applause and knew no happiness without the attention on the outside. All three of them made themselves and their worth dependent on the outside world. And when that began to crumble, they too began to falter. Frightening, isn't it?

On the other hand, you realize what a big driver “not being enough” can be - the “ego” as they say. Striving to be better and better and an incredible perfectionism. All three have worked so hard to achieve even greater things. The feeling of never being enough can make you incredibly successful. And at the same time, it can make you incredibly ill. Robbie often says in the movie how unnatural and abnormal his world is. He could no longer grasp this and accept his reality. He was in constant resistance to what was happening around him and never quite there.

People always think that successful people have everything they could wish for and that they are worth striving for. Yes, they have money, recognition and attention, which brings many advantages. But they are under constant pressure to live up to this - and above all to live up to themselves - and then to maintain their success. All three of them struggled a lot with this, especially when it waned or didn't work so well anymore.

What was nice to see was that all three of them found a way back to themselves and created a life in which they could find peace: David Beckham through his wife and family and his home, Robbie Williams also through his wife Ayda, his children and his home and also Taylor through her family, friends and her partner. They all got to the point where they needed grounding and were looking for the simple life. A life with authentic people who take them as they are and, above all, remind them of who they are at their core. And all three of them really took off again after overcoming a major crisis and reached the pinnacle of their careers. As if life had shown them their hurdles so that they could grow from them. Once they had developed further and readjusted their values, they moved on.

I think we can take away from this that life has created different types of motivation in us and it is important to take a close look at the reason why we do something. Because if it's the wrong reason, it can lead to us not getting anywhere or even losing ourselves. Not feeling good enough and therefore not valuable is a dead end in the long term. Discovering our own strengths and passions and living them ourselves, on the other hand, is the greatest power we can ever develop. Authenticity and love in our being and doing are stronger than anything else!

What does this post do to you? Does it make you think and feel like you've been caught out? Or do you feel like you're on the right track? If so, what “wrong” motivation do you have inside you? And where do you think it comes from? Which motivation would be the right one for you and feels powerful? What are your greatest passions that you would like to live more?